THE CLEMENTINE SHOW
by Mark Mander.
Live at Crazy Coqs, Zedel Brasserie 20 Sherwood Street, London W1F 7ED. Clementine is appearing at 7pm and 9pm at intervals in the Crazy Coq’s winter season. Dates for her show can be found by consulting their web site.
Runs: 70 mins No interval.
TICKETS: 010 7134 4888
Review: William Russell 17 September.
Oh my not so darling Clementine comes to town
Clementine is a diva. She is also a doll, a relation to Cindy and Barbie, but unlike them she also is alive having been impregnated by something from outer space while on the factory production line, after which she made her escape to the world. She resides in splendour and performs show tunes in dresses any diva would die for and quite a lot of birds of a feather probably have. As well as singing – her repertoire ranges from Broadway Baby via Keep Young and Beautiful to The Lonely Goatherd, and what those lonely goats get up is nobody’s business. We see her on stage and on film as she tells her life story and flogs her autobiography.
But Clementine is not alone, being supported by a cast two – Mark Esias and Ruth Culkin. Thousands they may not be, but they play many parts and manipulate some impressive puppets. Clementine herself is puppet phobic, but that is understandable. Culkin as Yvette the usherette, a raunchy lady of uncertain years, is hilarious, while Esais as Bobby Pin, Clementine’s dishy sidekick, adds some male glamour to the feminine versions on display as together they present, among other delights, a battling rooster and a fly best to be avoided.
Donald Trump also turns up, although one suspects Clementine is not his kind of woman. All in all it is a night of one star, Clementine, to remember – or maybe forget if you happen to fall foul of Yvette or that fly which squirts at the audience. Sit at the front table left looking at the stage at your peril.
Clementine: Mark Mender,
Bobby Pin: Mark Esias.
Yvette: Ruth Culkin.